Anonymous asked a few posts back if I believe the 'mantra' will really make one a forgiving person. I don't know if your question is doubtful or hopeful but either way it's a good comment.
Forgiveness is for YOU. It is not something you give someone; you give it to yourself. I believe forgiveness is the feeling of peace you have because you are letting go of your grievance / grudge / anger / resentment. You are deciding you're done with blaming someone for how poorly you've been treated and how miserable you are. Forgiveness is you deciding to stop letting other people control you.
My experience with 'repeating the mantra' ("I hoped _____ would ______ but I acknowledge I have no control over the choices of other people. I choose to focus on beauty, gratitude and love.") is really similar to Alma 32 in the Book of Mormon. Alma compares the word (a teaching or a principle)to a seed. Planting (or experimenting on) the word on tithing; the word on love;the word on forgiveness or whatever, is the way to discern if it is a true or good seed.
Try it! Get the Forgive For Good book and exercise a particle of faith by experimenting on it. Pray for grace (that enabling power which is given to us through the atonement after all we can do). If you experience more frequent and longer periods of peace, you are truly becoming a forgiving person!
It doesn't matter what you decide to do about the relationship; becoming a forgiving and loving person begins to be 'delicious' to you. Then you will know (or have a testimony) that it is a good seed; that forgiveness is not only possible but preferable.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
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