A Way To Judge

I was reading a book last night (Family History) about a family in crisis. One comment the mother made is that she felt other people were judging her (and needing to place blame) because it gave them comfort; it had to be someone's fault, it couldn't just be random because then they, too, could be subject to this type of family tragedy.

It is agonizing to make the decision to finally say, "Enough is enough". There are so many voices out there (not to mention the negative chatterbox in your head which promotes fear)trying to influence you. Realize, once and for all, that no one has the right to formulate an opinion and then pass judgment on you for your decision. You can and will receive guidance from your Heavenly Father who loves you and knows you perfectly. I'm so thankful for the scriptures; I can testify I have heard the voice of the Lord speak to me through them in the most amazing, uncanny ways; just opening up randomly and reading has brought me to tears in wonder for His love for me and giving me just the guidance and assurance I needed. Go prayerfully to the scriptures every day!

Another of those 'packets of help' I received was a book by President Henry B.Eyring, To Draw Closer To God. It is difficult to discern the truth when dealing with someone who has been living in lies and deceit for so many years. They tell one group of people one thing and tell you something else. President Eyring talked about an experience he had as a Bishop with a young man who wanted to know if he had truly repented and been forgiven of his grievous sin. This Bishop approached Elder Spencer W. Kimball for guidance:
"I thought Elder Kimball would talk about fasting or prayer or listening for the still, small voice. But he surprised me. Instead he said, "Tell me something about the young man." Then he began a series of the most simple questions, such as: Does he come to Priesthood meetings? Does he come early? Does he sit toward the front? Does he home teach? Does he go early in the month? Does he go more than once? I can't remember all the questions but they were like that- little things, simple acts of obedience, of submission. And for each question I was surprised at my answers. Yes, he wasn't just at all his meetings: he was early; he was smiling; he was there not only with his whole heart, but with the broken heart of a little child, as he was every time the Lord asked anything of him. Elder Kimball looked at me and said, "There is your answer." Sufficiently humble. Stripped of pride. Stripped of envy. Never making a mock of his brother" (To Draw Closer To God,page 56-57).

This was such a revelation to me! It brought such clarity and assisted me in following through with my initial impressions. In this situation (and all situations), you are admonished to 'judge righteous judgment'. You are not condemning anyone; you are using the Lord's criteria to determine if you should 'stay or you should go'. You can judge a tree by the fruit it produces. Words can (and will) be used to manipulate but actions speak louder than words.

The most important thing to remember is that you alone are entitled to the discernment in determining your future. There will be difficulties as you move forward but there will also be peace and an assurance of God's love for you. Stay away from those who are uncharitable. Give them your love and forgiveness but surround yourself at this critical time with people who are emotionally healthy and spiritually strong. Get outside of yourself and your small family circle and serve others; there are so many people you can love. Give to those who have offended you what you want to receive: love and acceptance.