"The abundance of life, the fullness of purpose and meaning are to be found in virtue- virtue that reflects and reaches for the godly virtue of the Savior Himself.
Virtue is the very purpose of life and the essence of our nature as children of God."
Virtue is to be for others- to act in their best interests, and to have a heart of compassion and charity turned outwards. When we are being virtuous, we exhibit specific characteristics...we invite and entice one another to be virtuous: being compassionately persuasive,gentle, meek and kind- in a spirit of charity, of love, of patience. It is in this way of being that we show ourselves and to others who we are and who we should be. This is what life is really like as we moment by moment put off the natural man. Our attempts must begin in the hearts of individuals.
Virtue is about strength, goodness and excellence- about what we do and how we do it. The example of the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31: She seeketh,worketh, bringeth, riseth, giveth, considereth, planteth, girdeth, strengtheneth, perceiveth, stretcheth, reacheth, maketh, selleth, and delivereth. Only one thing she doesn't do: she does not fear. I think it is because it never occurs to one who seeks, rises works, gives and all the rest- to be afraid. What she doesn't do is merely the by-product of what she does do.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Notes on Meekness (James Allen and me)
Meekness is a divine quality and as such is all powerful. The meek overcome by not resisting. The meek man is found in the time of trial; his patience is not destroyed by the foolish passions of others and when they come against him he does not 'strive nor cry'. That the meek man should be neglected, abused or misunderstood is reckoned by him as of no account and therefore not to be considered much lass resisted. To them who give him evil he gives good.
What sayest thou, thy neighbor has spoken thee falsely? Well, what of that? Can a falsity hurt thee? That which is false is false, and there is an end to it. It is without life , and without power to hurt any but him who seeks to hurt by it. It is nothing that thy neighbor should speak falsely of thee, but it is much to thee that thou shouldest resist him, and seek to justify thyself for, by so doing thou givest life and vitality to thy neighbor's falseness, so that thou art injured and distressed. If any man slander me, that is his concern, not mine. Though all the world misjudge me, it is no business of mine; but that I should possess my soul in Purity and Love, that is all my business.
Meek tools are gentleness, patience, humility, purity, sacrifice, and love. We must sacrifice self (our passions,opinions, prejudice and accusations).
Passions: keep emotions in check by forbearing (never taking offense in the first place). Think well of everyone; emotions come from thoughts and then opinions form.
Opinions: I don't have a handle on truth. Other people's truth can be different than mine. Everyone is accountable for their own choices; my way is not the only way. The only Truth is Love. God IS love.
Prejudice: Clinging to your own selfish opinions which are based on limited perception. Prejudice leads to unrighteous judgment and condemnation of others. Holding on to those judgements is pride or enmity.
Accusing: Pride is the source of accusations. Lucifer is the original accuser and he accused continually.(Revelations 12:10) Lehi worried about Laman and Lemuel because they were 1)accusing Nephi and 2) murmuring among themselves (2Nephi 1:25-26).
Humility: regard everyone with eye of charity. Sacrifice my opinions so I can love more. Truth (charity) is an unselfish, holy heart aspiring for peace with all. Cherish everyone with thoughts of acceptance. Seeing ours and others potential = dwelling in good will and compassion.
Strive after meekness! Increase thy forbearance and patience day by day. Watch thy thoughts; ceasing to have or hold any selfish, condemnatory, or retaliatory thoughts. Bid thy tongue cease from all harsh words; withdraw thy mind from selfish arguments, and refuse to brood upon wrongs. Rejoice that thou art so favored to have thine own imperfections revealed to thee as to necessitate within thee a constant struggle for self-mastery and perfection. Each trial becomes an opportunity to practice what is preached. So living, thou shalt carefully tend and cultivate the pure and delicate flower of Meekness in thy heart.
Thou shalt bless where others curse; love where others hate; forgive where others condemn.
What sayest thou, thy neighbor has spoken thee falsely? Well, what of that? Can a falsity hurt thee? That which is false is false, and there is an end to it. It is without life , and without power to hurt any but him who seeks to hurt by it. It is nothing that thy neighbor should speak falsely of thee, but it is much to thee that thou shouldest resist him, and seek to justify thyself for, by so doing thou givest life and vitality to thy neighbor's falseness, so that thou art injured and distressed. If any man slander me, that is his concern, not mine. Though all the world misjudge me, it is no business of mine; but that I should possess my soul in Purity and Love, that is all my business.
Meek tools are gentleness, patience, humility, purity, sacrifice, and love. We must sacrifice self (our passions,opinions, prejudice and accusations).
Passions: keep emotions in check by forbearing (never taking offense in the first place). Think well of everyone; emotions come from thoughts and then opinions form.
Opinions: I don't have a handle on truth. Other people's truth can be different than mine. Everyone is accountable for their own choices; my way is not the only way. The only Truth is Love. God IS love.
Prejudice: Clinging to your own selfish opinions which are based on limited perception. Prejudice leads to unrighteous judgment and condemnation of others. Holding on to those judgements is pride or enmity.
Accusing: Pride is the source of accusations. Lucifer is the original accuser and he accused continually.(Revelations 12:10) Lehi worried about Laman and Lemuel because they were 1)accusing Nephi and 2) murmuring among themselves (2Nephi 1:25-26).
Humility: regard everyone with eye of charity. Sacrifice my opinions so I can love more. Truth (charity) is an unselfish, holy heart aspiring for peace with all. Cherish everyone with thoughts of acceptance. Seeing ours and others potential = dwelling in good will and compassion.
Strive after meekness! Increase thy forbearance and patience day by day. Watch thy thoughts; ceasing to have or hold any selfish, condemnatory, or retaliatory thoughts. Bid thy tongue cease from all harsh words; withdraw thy mind from selfish arguments, and refuse to brood upon wrongs. Rejoice that thou art so favored to have thine own imperfections revealed to thee as to necessitate within thee a constant struggle for self-mastery and perfection. Each trial becomes an opportunity to practice what is preached. So living, thou shalt carefully tend and cultivate the pure and delicate flower of Meekness in thy heart.
Thou shalt bless where others curse; love where others hate; forgive where others condemn.
Friday, July 8, 2011
I always loved Elder Ashton
Peace—A Triumph of PrinciplesMarvin J. Ashton, 1985
Many years ago I heard a story that impressed me. I share it with you today as I endeavor for a few minutes to direct your thinking toward the important word peace. A beautiful little blind girl was sitting on the lap of her father in a crowded compartment in a train. A friend seated nearby said to the father, “Let me give you a little rest,” and he reached over and took the little girl on his lap. A few moments later the father said to her, “Do you know who is holding you?” “No,” she replied, “but you do.”
Some might be inclined to say, “What a perfect trust this child had in her father.” Others may say, “What a wonderful example of love.” And still others might say, “What an example of faith.” To me it indicates a beautiful blending of all of these principles, which brought a priceless inner peace to the child. She knew she was safe because she knew her father knew who was holding her. Affection, respect, and care over the years had placed in this little girl’s heart a peace that surpasseth all understanding. She was at peace because she knew and trusted her father.
We plead for peace in our prayers and thoughts. Where is peace? Can we ever enjoy this great gift while wars, rumors of wars, discord, evil, and contention swirl all around us? The answer is yes. Just as the little blind girl sat on the stranger’s lap with perfect contentment because her father knew him, so we can learn to know our Father and find inner peace as we live his principles.
Certainly peace is the opposite of fear. Peace is a blessing that comes to those who trust in God. It is established through individual righteousness. True personal peace comes about through eternal vigilance and constant righteous efforts. No man can be at peace who is untrue to his better self. No man can have lasting peace who is living a lie. Peace can never come to the transgressor of the law. Commitment to God’s laws is the basis for peace. Peace is something we earn. It is not a gift. Rather, it is a possession earned by those who love God and work to achieve the blessings of peace. It is not a written document. It is something that must come from within.
Never will peace and hatred be able to abide in the same soul. Our trust and our relationship with our Father should be one similar to that of the little blind girl and her earthly father. When sorrow, tragedy, and heartbreaks occur in our lives, wouldn’t it be comforting if when the whisperings of God say, “Do you know why this has happened to you?” we could have the peace of mind to answer “No, but you do.”
However, only those at peace can properly cope with accusations and slander. Inner peace is the prized possession of God’s valiant. A testimony of the truthfulness of the teachings of our Savior gives personal peace in times of adversity. It must be constantly nurtured by the individual who is soundly anchored to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Only then can a person realize that the trials and tribulations of daily life are less important than God’s total goodness.
Lasting peace is an eternal personal quest. Peace does come from obedience to the law. Peace comes to those who develop character and trust.
No peace will be lasting unless it is built upon the solid foundation of eternal principles such as love of God, love of neighbor, and love of self. Those who love their neighbors can bring peace and happiness to many.
When we properly blend into our lives true principles of love, honesty, respect, character, faith, and patience, peace will become our priceless possession. Peace is a triumph of correct principles.
None of us will avoid the storms of life. The winds and the waves will periodically interfere with our chosen course. The laws of the gospel can bring us back on course and guide us to peaceful waters.
Many years ago I heard a story that impressed me. I share it with you today as I endeavor for a few minutes to direct your thinking toward the important word peace. A beautiful little blind girl was sitting on the lap of her father in a crowded compartment in a train. A friend seated nearby said to the father, “Let me give you a little rest,” and he reached over and took the little girl on his lap. A few moments later the father said to her, “Do you know who is holding you?” “No,” she replied, “but you do.”
Some might be inclined to say, “What a perfect trust this child had in her father.” Others may say, “What a wonderful example of love.” And still others might say, “What an example of faith.” To me it indicates a beautiful blending of all of these principles, which brought a priceless inner peace to the child. She knew she was safe because she knew her father knew who was holding her. Affection, respect, and care over the years had placed in this little girl’s heart a peace that surpasseth all understanding. She was at peace because she knew and trusted her father.
We plead for peace in our prayers and thoughts. Where is peace? Can we ever enjoy this great gift while wars, rumors of wars, discord, evil, and contention swirl all around us? The answer is yes. Just as the little blind girl sat on the stranger’s lap with perfect contentment because her father knew him, so we can learn to know our Father and find inner peace as we live his principles.
Certainly peace is the opposite of fear. Peace is a blessing that comes to those who trust in God. It is established through individual righteousness. True personal peace comes about through eternal vigilance and constant righteous efforts. No man can be at peace who is untrue to his better self. No man can have lasting peace who is living a lie. Peace can never come to the transgressor of the law. Commitment to God’s laws is the basis for peace. Peace is something we earn. It is not a gift. Rather, it is a possession earned by those who love God and work to achieve the blessings of peace. It is not a written document. It is something that must come from within.
Never will peace and hatred be able to abide in the same soul. Our trust and our relationship with our Father should be one similar to that of the little blind girl and her earthly father. When sorrow, tragedy, and heartbreaks occur in our lives, wouldn’t it be comforting if when the whisperings of God say, “Do you know why this has happened to you?” we could have the peace of mind to answer “No, but you do.”
However, only those at peace can properly cope with accusations and slander. Inner peace is the prized possession of God’s valiant. A testimony of the truthfulness of the teachings of our Savior gives personal peace in times of adversity. It must be constantly nurtured by the individual who is soundly anchored to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Only then can a person realize that the trials and tribulations of daily life are less important than God’s total goodness.
Lasting peace is an eternal personal quest. Peace does come from obedience to the law. Peace comes to those who develop character and trust.
No peace will be lasting unless it is built upon the solid foundation of eternal principles such as love of God, love of neighbor, and love of self. Those who love their neighbors can bring peace and happiness to many.
When we properly blend into our lives true principles of love, honesty, respect, character, faith, and patience, peace will become our priceless possession. Peace is a triumph of correct principles.
None of us will avoid the storms of life. The winds and the waves will periodically interfere with our chosen course. The laws of the gospel can bring us back on course and guide us to peaceful waters.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Getting Out There
Okay, I started attending Single Adult Dances and Conferences a few months ago. I went with trepidation (and a non-member friend)to the first dance. We actually had a blast. We looked at it as a service project: we were there to help other people have a fun time by just dancing and talking up a storm with anyone. The second one was fun too but she left early so I didn't stay long. The conferences have been fun too. I just returned from my third conference and my heart is going out to the dear, single folk. I went alone down to San Diego this week and was taken in by four sisters as soon as I registered. (I was a stranger and they took me in!) I was able to pull in other guys and gals to our little group throughout the day and evening. When I saw someone wandering around alone, I went up to them and invited them to sit with us. I even created a little match between two of the younger friends I gathered in.
I just finished a good book by Dr. Bernie Siegel titled, Prescription For Living (lessons for living a joyful life). "I have learned we are here to make life easier for each other", he says. This attitude is wrapping itself around my little, lonely heart like a down comforter. Most of us 'single-folk' probably wish we were married, but in the meantime we can befriend,listen and lift each other.I have days when I am lonely but I either go for a walk or go to visit one of my senior 'sweethearts' (male and females).
I love another recurring theme of his book:
"Good things come of adversity. God is redirecting you. Something good will come of this.Despite the difficulty, the darkest times of our lives are often the most meaningful. These are the times when we cannot deny our fears and we are forced to pay attention to what we are feeling inside. What happens when you listen to your feelings? Your problems become your teacher, healer and enlightenment." I have found this to be true. First, that something good is going to come as a result of this pain or change in life.Second, that there is the potential for tremendous spiritual growth as you work with the problems of life. You see your weaknesses and having light thrown upon them, enables you to change and grow.
So..life is good right now. There are people out there to love, lift and bless with my (strong) personality. I may be afraid of calling people on the phone but I have little fear in person. I really enjoyed reaching out to so many people yesterday and last night at the conference. I am on a mission to touch the hearts of these fellow-singles and be a friend to everyone. I came to this conclusion after I realized I am pretty sure I won't find my future husband here. It freed me to just relax and be on God's errand; be there for others instead of worrying about myself.
I just finished a good book by Dr. Bernie Siegel titled, Prescription For Living (lessons for living a joyful life). "I have learned we are here to make life easier for each other", he says. This attitude is wrapping itself around my little, lonely heart like a down comforter. Most of us 'single-folk' probably wish we were married, but in the meantime we can befriend,listen and lift each other.I have days when I am lonely but I either go for a walk or go to visit one of my senior 'sweethearts' (male and females).
I love another recurring theme of his book:
"Good things come of adversity. God is redirecting you. Something good will come of this.Despite the difficulty, the darkest times of our lives are often the most meaningful. These are the times when we cannot deny our fears and we are forced to pay attention to what we are feeling inside. What happens when you listen to your feelings? Your problems become your teacher, healer and enlightenment." I have found this to be true. First, that something good is going to come as a result of this pain or change in life.Second, that there is the potential for tremendous spiritual growth as you work with the problems of life. You see your weaknesses and having light thrown upon them, enables you to change and grow.
So..life is good right now. There are people out there to love, lift and bless with my (strong) personality. I may be afraid of calling people on the phone but I have little fear in person. I really enjoyed reaching out to so many people yesterday and last night at the conference. I am on a mission to touch the hearts of these fellow-singles and be a friend to everyone. I came to this conclusion after I realized I am pretty sure I won't find my future husband here. It freed me to just relax and be on God's errand; be there for others instead of worrying about myself.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Old Post
This post got spammed so I am reposting it 17 months later:
Anonymous asked way back in Jan 2010 if I believe the 'mantra' will really make one a forgiving person. I don't know if your question is doubtful or hopeful but either way it's a good comment.
Forgiveness is for YOU. It is not something you give someone; you give it to yourself. I believe forgiveness is the feeling of peace you have because you are letting go of your grievance / grudge / anger / resentment. You are deciding you're done with blaming someone for how poorly you've been treated and how miserable you are. Forgiveness is you deciding to stop letting other people control you.
My experience with 'repeating the mantra' ("I hoped _____ would ______ but I acknowledge I have no control over the choices of other people. I choose to focus on beauty, gratitude and love.") is really similar to Alma 32 in the Book of Mormon. Alma compares the word (a teaching or a principle)to a seed. Planting (or experimenting on) the word on tithing; the word on love;the word on forgiveness or whatever, is the way to discern if it is a true or good seed.
Try it! Get the Forgive For Good book and exercise a particle of faith by experimenting on it. Pray for grace (that enabling power which is given to us through the atonement after all we can do). If you experience more frequent and longer periods of peace, you are truly becoming a forgiving person!
It doesn't matter what you decide to do about the relationship; becoming a forgiving and loving person begins to be 'delicious' to you. Then you will know (or have a testimony) that it is a good seed; that forgiveness is not only possible but preferable.
Anonymous asked way back in Jan 2010 if I believe the 'mantra' will really make one a forgiving person. I don't know if your question is doubtful or hopeful but either way it's a good comment.
Forgiveness is for YOU. It is not something you give someone; you give it to yourself. I believe forgiveness is the feeling of peace you have because you are letting go of your grievance / grudge / anger / resentment. You are deciding you're done with blaming someone for how poorly you've been treated and how miserable you are. Forgiveness is you deciding to stop letting other people control you.
My experience with 'repeating the mantra' ("I hoped _____ would ______ but I acknowledge I have no control over the choices of other people. I choose to focus on beauty, gratitude and love.") is really similar to Alma 32 in the Book of Mormon. Alma compares the word (a teaching or a principle)to a seed. Planting (or experimenting on) the word on tithing; the word on love;the word on forgiveness or whatever, is the way to discern if it is a true or good seed.
Try it! Get the Forgive For Good book and exercise a particle of faith by experimenting on it. Pray for grace (that enabling power which is given to us through the atonement after all we can do). If you experience more frequent and longer periods of peace, you are truly becoming a forgiving person!
It doesn't matter what you decide to do about the relationship; becoming a forgiving and loving person begins to be 'delicious' to you. Then you will know (or have a testimony) that it is a good seed; that forgiveness is not only possible but preferable.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Meekness by James Allen (& me)
Meekness is to be non-resistant in thought. (Jesus is the ultimate example of meekness; this submission of every thought to his Father's will. When you have love as your motive, there is no need to resist others in thought/word/deed). Cease condemning, retaliatory or selfish thoughts. The meek can't take offense or have their feelings hurt...they have submitted to truth (charity - what is there to argue about?).
Increase patience and forbearance each day. Withdraw thy mind from arguments; refuse to brood on wrongs of others. (Accept everyone's use of agency) Bless where others curse; love where they hate; forgive where they condemn; yield where they strive; give up as they grasp. That which is real can never be destroyed: love, virtue, honesty, humility, meekness, integrity, purity, patience.
That the meek person should be neglected, abused or misunderstood is considered by her as of no account and therefore not to be considered, much less resisted. To those who give evil- return good. The meek submit; they resist none and they conquer all. She who imagines she can be injured by others and who seeks to justify and defend herself against them does not understand meekness, nor comprehend the meaning of life.
Someone has spoken falsely of you? Can falsity ever really harm you? That which is false is false. and there is an end to it. A lie is without power to hurt any but the one who seeks to hurt by it. When you try to defend yourself, you give life to the lie so you become injured and distressed. (Yes I do!) Take all evil out of your heart and you will see the folly of resisting evil in another. The injury you see coming from another comes only from yourself. All the world can misjudge you. You must possess your soul in purity and love. Strife ends when one party ceases defending herself. By inward, spiritual submission the meek conquers.
(Well, I just love this. It is taken from All These Things Added. You can download it for free from i store. This is even better than As a Man Thinketh/From Poverty to Power which I have recommended before. What amazing insight he had. He lived a hundred years ago but truth is truth. I love pondering principles of the gospel no matter where you find them. Enjoy!)
Increase patience and forbearance each day. Withdraw thy mind from arguments; refuse to brood on wrongs of others. (Accept everyone's use of agency) Bless where others curse; love where they hate; forgive where they condemn; yield where they strive; give up as they grasp. That which is real can never be destroyed: love, virtue, honesty, humility, meekness, integrity, purity, patience.
That the meek person should be neglected, abused or misunderstood is considered by her as of no account and therefore not to be considered, much less resisted. To those who give evil- return good. The meek submit; they resist none and they conquer all. She who imagines she can be injured by others and who seeks to justify and defend herself against them does not understand meekness, nor comprehend the meaning of life.
Someone has spoken falsely of you? Can falsity ever really harm you? That which is false is false. and there is an end to it. A lie is without power to hurt any but the one who seeks to hurt by it. When you try to defend yourself, you give life to the lie so you become injured and distressed. (Yes I do!) Take all evil out of your heart and you will see the folly of resisting evil in another. The injury you see coming from another comes only from yourself. All the world can misjudge you. You must possess your soul in purity and love. Strife ends when one party ceases defending herself. By inward, spiritual submission the meek conquers.
(Well, I just love this. It is taken from All These Things Added. You can download it for free from i store. This is even better than As a Man Thinketh/From Poverty to Power which I have recommended before. What amazing insight he had. He lived a hundred years ago but truth is truth. I love pondering principles of the gospel no matter where you find them. Enjoy!)
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Eat Pray Love
I really am enjoying this book by Elizabeth Gilbert. There are 2-3 f-bombs but I highly recommend this book. An excerpt from Chapter 58:
"My prayers are becoming more deliberate and specific. It has occurred to me that it's not much use to send prayers out to the universe that are lazy. Of course God already knows what I need. The question is- do I know? Casting yourself at God's feet in helpless desparation is all well and good- heaven knows, I've done it myself plenty of times- but ultimately you're likely to get more out of the experience if you can take some action on your end. (See Ether 2:23, come up with a plan- not in the book)
Prayer is a relationship; half the job is mine. If I want more transformation, but can't even be bothered to articulate what, exactly, I'm aiming for, how will it ever occur? Half the benefit of prayer is in the asking itself, in the offering of a clearly posed and well-considered intention. If you don't have this, all your plans and desires are boneless, floppy, inert;they swirl at your feet in a cold fog and never lift. So now I take the time every morning to search myself for specificity about what I am truly asking for. I kneel there in the temple with my face on the cold marble for as long as it takes me to formulate an authentic prayer. If I don't feel sincere, then I will stay there on the floor until I do. What worked yesterday doesn't always work today. Prayers can become stale and drone into the boring and familiar if you let your attention stagnate. In making an effort to stay alert, I am assuming custodial responsibility for my own soul.
Destiny, I feel, is also a relationship- a play between divine grace and willful self-effort. Half of it you have no control over; half of it is absolutely in your hands, and your actions will show measurable consequence. What do I need to stop worrying about because it's not under my control, and which do I need to (work on) with concentrated effort?
There is so much about my fate I cannot control but other things do fall under my jurisdiction. I can decide how I will spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I eat, read and study. I can choose how I'm going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life- whether I will see them as curses or opportunities (and on occasion when I can't rise to the most optimistic viewpoint, because I am feeling too sorry for myself, I can choose to keep trying to change my outlook). I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can change my thoughts.
This last concept is a radically new idea for me. It was brought to my attention recently when I was complaining about my inability to stop brooding. "You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select what clothes you're gonna wear every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things so bad, work on the mind. That's the only thing you should be trying to control. Drop everything else but that. Because if you can't learn to master your thinking, you're in deep trouble forever."
On first glance this is seems a nearly impossible task. Control your own thoughts instead of the other way around? But imagine if you could? This is not about repression or denial. Repression and denial set up elaborate games to pretend that negative thoughts and feelings are not occurring. What he is talking about is admitting to the existence of negative thoughts, understanding where they came from and why they arrived, and then- with great forgiveness and fortitude- dismissing them. It's a sacrifice to let them go, of course. It's like the loss of old habits, comforting old grudges and familiar vignettes. Of course, this always takes patience and effort. It's not a teaching that you can hear once and then expect to master immediately. It's constant vigilance and I want to do it. I need to do it, for my strength.
So I've started being vigilant about watching my thoughts all day and monitoring them. I repeat this vow about 700 times a day: "I will not harbor unhealthy thoughts anymore." Every time a diminishing thought arises, I repeat the vow. Harbor is a noun as well as a verb. A harbor, of course, is a place of refuge, a port of entry. The harbor of my mind is an open bay, the only access to the island of my Self. This island has been through some wars, it is true, but it is now committed to peace, under new leadership (me) who has instituted new policies to protect the place. And now- let the word go out across the seven seas- there are much, much stricter laws on the books about who may enter this harbor.
You may not come here anymore with your hard and abusive thoughts, with your plague-ships of thoughts, with your warships of thoughts- all these will be turned away. Likewise, any thoughts that are filled with angry or starving exiles, with malcontents, mutineers, violent assassins and seditious stowaways- you may not come here anymore either. This is a peaceful harbor, the entryway to a fine and proud island that is only now beginning to cultivate tranquillity. If you can abide by these new laws, my dear thoughts, then you are welcome in my mind- otherwise, I shall turn you all back toward the sea from whence you came.
That is my mission, and it will never end."
Check out this book!
"My prayers are becoming more deliberate and specific. It has occurred to me that it's not much use to send prayers out to the universe that are lazy. Of course God already knows what I need. The question is- do I know? Casting yourself at God's feet in helpless desparation is all well and good- heaven knows, I've done it myself plenty of times- but ultimately you're likely to get more out of the experience if you can take some action on your end. (See Ether 2:23, come up with a plan- not in the book)
Prayer is a relationship; half the job is mine. If I want more transformation, but can't even be bothered to articulate what, exactly, I'm aiming for, how will it ever occur? Half the benefit of prayer is in the asking itself, in the offering of a clearly posed and well-considered intention. If you don't have this, all your plans and desires are boneless, floppy, inert;they swirl at your feet in a cold fog and never lift. So now I take the time every morning to search myself for specificity about what I am truly asking for. I kneel there in the temple with my face on the cold marble for as long as it takes me to formulate an authentic prayer. If I don't feel sincere, then I will stay there on the floor until I do. What worked yesterday doesn't always work today. Prayers can become stale and drone into the boring and familiar if you let your attention stagnate. In making an effort to stay alert, I am assuming custodial responsibility for my own soul.
Destiny, I feel, is also a relationship- a play between divine grace and willful self-effort. Half of it you have no control over; half of it is absolutely in your hands, and your actions will show measurable consequence. What do I need to stop worrying about because it's not under my control, and which do I need to (work on) with concentrated effort?
There is so much about my fate I cannot control but other things do fall under my jurisdiction. I can decide how I will spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I eat, read and study. I can choose how I'm going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life- whether I will see them as curses or opportunities (and on occasion when I can't rise to the most optimistic viewpoint, because I am feeling too sorry for myself, I can choose to keep trying to change my outlook). I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can change my thoughts.
This last concept is a radically new idea for me. It was brought to my attention recently when I was complaining about my inability to stop brooding. "You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select what clothes you're gonna wear every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things so bad, work on the mind. That's the only thing you should be trying to control. Drop everything else but that. Because if you can't learn to master your thinking, you're in deep trouble forever."
On first glance this is seems a nearly impossible task. Control your own thoughts instead of the other way around? But imagine if you could? This is not about repression or denial. Repression and denial set up elaborate games to pretend that negative thoughts and feelings are not occurring. What he is talking about is admitting to the existence of negative thoughts, understanding where they came from and why they arrived, and then- with great forgiveness and fortitude- dismissing them. It's a sacrifice to let them go, of course. It's like the loss of old habits, comforting old grudges and familiar vignettes. Of course, this always takes patience and effort. It's not a teaching that you can hear once and then expect to master immediately. It's constant vigilance and I want to do it. I need to do it, for my strength.
So I've started being vigilant about watching my thoughts all day and monitoring them. I repeat this vow about 700 times a day: "I will not harbor unhealthy thoughts anymore." Every time a diminishing thought arises, I repeat the vow. Harbor is a noun as well as a verb. A harbor, of course, is a place of refuge, a port of entry. The harbor of my mind is an open bay, the only access to the island of my Self. This island has been through some wars, it is true, but it is now committed to peace, under new leadership (me) who has instituted new policies to protect the place. And now- let the word go out across the seven seas- there are much, much stricter laws on the books about who may enter this harbor.
You may not come here anymore with your hard and abusive thoughts, with your plague-ships of thoughts, with your warships of thoughts- all these will be turned away. Likewise, any thoughts that are filled with angry or starving exiles, with malcontents, mutineers, violent assassins and seditious stowaways- you may not come here anymore either. This is a peaceful harbor, the entryway to a fine and proud island that is only now beginning to cultivate tranquillity. If you can abide by these new laws, my dear thoughts, then you are welcome in my mind- otherwise, I shall turn you all back toward the sea from whence you came.
That is my mission, and it will never end."
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