Okay, I started attending Single Adult Dances and Conferences a few months ago. I went with trepidation (and a non-member friend)to the first dance. We actually had a blast. We looked at it as a service project: we were there to help other people have a fun time by just dancing and talking up a storm with anyone. The second one was fun too but she left early so I didn't stay long. The conferences have been fun too. I just returned from my third conference and my heart is going out to the dear, single folk. I went alone down to San Diego this week and was taken in by four sisters as soon as I registered. (I was a stranger and they took me in!) I was able to pull in other guys and gals to our little group throughout the day and evening. When I saw someone wandering around alone, I went up to them and invited them to sit with us. I even created a little match between two of the younger friends I gathered in.
I just finished a good book by Dr. Bernie Siegel titled, Prescription For Living (lessons for living a joyful life). "I have learned we are here to make life easier for each other", he says. This attitude is wrapping itself around my little, lonely heart like a down comforter. Most of us 'single-folk' probably wish we were married, but in the meantime we can befriend,listen and lift each other.I have days when I am lonely but I either go for a walk or go to visit one of my senior 'sweethearts' (male and females).
I love another recurring theme of his book:
"Good things come of adversity. God is redirecting you. Something good will come of this.Despite the difficulty, the darkest times of our lives are often the most meaningful. These are the times when we cannot deny our fears and we are forced to pay attention to what we are feeling inside. What happens when you listen to your feelings? Your problems become your teacher, healer and enlightenment." I have found this to be true. First, that something good is going to come as a result of this pain or change in life.Second, that there is the potential for tremendous spiritual growth as you work with the problems of life. You see your weaknesses and having light thrown upon them, enables you to change and grow.
So..life is good right now. There are people out there to love, lift and bless with my (strong) personality. I may be afraid of calling people on the phone but I have little fear in person. I really enjoyed reaching out to so many people yesterday and last night at the conference. I am on a mission to touch the hearts of these fellow-singles and be a friend to everyone. I came to this conclusion after I realized I am pretty sure I won't find my future husband here. It freed me to just relax and be on God's errand; be there for others instead of worrying about myself.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Old Post
This post got spammed so I am reposting it 17 months later:
Anonymous asked way back in Jan 2010 if I believe the 'mantra' will really make one a forgiving person. I don't know if your question is doubtful or hopeful but either way it's a good comment.
Forgiveness is for YOU. It is not something you give someone; you give it to yourself. I believe forgiveness is the feeling of peace you have because you are letting go of your grievance / grudge / anger / resentment. You are deciding you're done with blaming someone for how poorly you've been treated and how miserable you are. Forgiveness is you deciding to stop letting other people control you.
My experience with 'repeating the mantra' ("I hoped _____ would ______ but I acknowledge I have no control over the choices of other people. I choose to focus on beauty, gratitude and love.") is really similar to Alma 32 in the Book of Mormon. Alma compares the word (a teaching or a principle)to a seed. Planting (or experimenting on) the word on tithing; the word on love;the word on forgiveness or whatever, is the way to discern if it is a true or good seed.
Try it! Get the Forgive For Good book and exercise a particle of faith by experimenting on it. Pray for grace (that enabling power which is given to us through the atonement after all we can do). If you experience more frequent and longer periods of peace, you are truly becoming a forgiving person!
It doesn't matter what you decide to do about the relationship; becoming a forgiving and loving person begins to be 'delicious' to you. Then you will know (or have a testimony) that it is a good seed; that forgiveness is not only possible but preferable.
Anonymous asked way back in Jan 2010 if I believe the 'mantra' will really make one a forgiving person. I don't know if your question is doubtful or hopeful but either way it's a good comment.
Forgiveness is for YOU. It is not something you give someone; you give it to yourself. I believe forgiveness is the feeling of peace you have because you are letting go of your grievance / grudge / anger / resentment. You are deciding you're done with blaming someone for how poorly you've been treated and how miserable you are. Forgiveness is you deciding to stop letting other people control you.
My experience with 'repeating the mantra' ("I hoped _____ would ______ but I acknowledge I have no control over the choices of other people. I choose to focus on beauty, gratitude and love.") is really similar to Alma 32 in the Book of Mormon. Alma compares the word (a teaching or a principle)to a seed. Planting (or experimenting on) the word on tithing; the word on love;the word on forgiveness or whatever, is the way to discern if it is a true or good seed.
Try it! Get the Forgive For Good book and exercise a particle of faith by experimenting on it. Pray for grace (that enabling power which is given to us through the atonement after all we can do). If you experience more frequent and longer periods of peace, you are truly becoming a forgiving person!
It doesn't matter what you decide to do about the relationship; becoming a forgiving and loving person begins to be 'delicious' to you. Then you will know (or have a testimony) that it is a good seed; that forgiveness is not only possible but preferable.
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